Pirates of the Carib.. Carrib… yeah, that movie. Part 2.

I’ll try to make it nonspoilery. Certainly, no one could possibly expect any surprises in this, anyway. Take the first movie, add in tentacles, loads of barnacles and mussels and assorted sea creatures all spackled together in humanoid form, magically exploding barrels that ignite like dynamite when a lead ball hits them, impossible ships that get where they’re going in no time at all, faux cannibals, and an undead monkey, and there you go. Oh, and the really daft hamster ball/wheel nonsense. Throwing a bunch of people into a huge sphere and rolling them down miles of cliff, hill, jungle and rock/dirt faces, only to have them emerge without broken bones, concussions and crushed internal organs? Right. Wasn’t even funny when I saw in in Mortal Combat, and became less so with every stupid movie that tries it. The best version I’ve seen was in the Incredibles. And that was SUPPOSED to be a cartoon about people with impossible super powers doing impossible things. So it worked.

What am I saying? PotC is in fact a live action cartoon, except, after the fact? when I am not under the spell of Depp’s jazz hands and wild mascara festooned eyes? I can only shake my head. I didn’t like Elizabeth this time, and I didn’t care much for Will either; they’ve lost the naivete that made their characters interesting the first time, when it was all about figuring out how to make it in the pirate world. Now they’re jaded and confront the circumstances they are thrown into with a sort of ‘here we go again’ air. The end of the movie was a big fat HUH? and not of a good sort. Instead of looking forward to the third, I am now also jaded, and recognizing that yes, I will see it, and yes, it will be somewhat enjoyable, but I’ve seen it before - in the first two movies and in other movies.

I guess there are spoilers here… but not so much. You’ll probably enjoy the movie anyway because it’s not about predictability, it’s something you see because you like Jack Sparrow and the idea of PIRATES! and the Kraken! and arrrr, me hearties….