Okay, at some point, you’ll hate me. I know it. Then you’ll comment and tell me to STOP with the old BSG eps, and I probably will, just because I’m hating it… except this one. The title’s wacky, but you know, there’s something familiar about it. The fleet sends the folks from the prison ship to do some hard labor.
I’m always amused by the little crew mover things - they cram the pilots on them and then roll the guys through the halls to the landing bays. I have this urge to throw a bowling ball.
Pigtail girl is on the job again. The latest scout mission finds a hostil ice planet - as in hostile atmosphere. She shows their scan on the screen. Boomer and Starbuck go for a closer look. Now we’re getting something we haven’t had before — cylons in their base are preparing to fire, and get the attention of the patrol. They hit the first viper in range with their super gun. I can see where this is going. They’re gonna send prisoners to take it out. I think I like the search for water idea better.
Two cadets go into the atmosphere - against orders, but hey, no one gets disciplinary action for that anyway. Of course, one gets shot. The other is forced down by cylon raiders. All he needs now is a tauntaun. Starbuck and a reluctant Boomer go in next, but Boomer convinces him to go home to report — finally, someone takes a suggestion! The stock footage keeps showing three vipers instead of two. Whatever.
The Conversation on the bridge. What can we do against a big gun like that? A small ground force. Cue the computer search and the selection of prisoners. Cue the cute goodbye scene with Boxey. Apollo’s going? So are Boomer and Starbuck. So are six prisoners with arctic experience. I wonder if you searched every prison in the US, how many prisoners would have arctic exploration experience?
More footage of cylons reacting to the appearance of vipers and a shuttle. Wow, this is the most I’ve seen of actual centurions, like ever. And they’re boring and monotone. I don’t think the centurions in BSG 03 ever speak, come to think of it. The shuttle gets shot, crashes into snow, and we’re off to adventure! Galactica can’t read them anymore. The cylons in slow monotone talk to the patrol, letting them know to search for wreckage and leave no survivors — everyone repeats everything everyone else says! ack! Quit talking!
The shuttle’s in bad shape; Starbuck smacked his head on the console and everyone got thrown around. They drive a landram off the shuttle - wow, so that’s how they get them down there. Apollo finds Boxey in the vehicle - “Muffit wanted to see snow.” Good grief! Starbuck uses the gun on the vehicle to shoot down the cylons.
Oh, goody, cylons are torturing the captured pilot with acrylic rods connected to his cortex. Which they aren’t, they’re sort of hanging down around him, and he looks not so worried yet. The cylon claims the machine will read his mind. “You have a nervous system that carries impulses. Impulses that contain information.” For a bunch of… things that have access to a mindreading machine, these centurions are amazingly untechnical.
The storm hits, so the transport stops and they wait it out. Muffit hops out of the transport and runs off. We get scenes of cylons wandering in the snow, and the daggit running around, and it looks like the daggit will confront them - except it doesn’t. People walk out of the snow, and then we go to a big room where all the folks are unmasked and waking up. A hunting party found Muffit who led it back to the transport. Huh? Not only that, they look the same - clones. Lots of the same women, lots of the same men. Now, of all the things you would expect to find on a planet where the air actually turns liquid, would you say ‘clones?’ As it turns out, the cylons have a human scientist who built the laser and is allowed to stay there experimenting as he wants to so long as he helps them. Shades of scientist Baltar of next gen BSG.
So then there’s this long trek through the snow, where they all stumble along, and the cylons are out wandering around too, and there’s hiding and slogging and more snow.
Back on the base star, which we haven’t seen in a while, Lucifer and Baltar duke it out verbally before a ‘to be continued’ flashes on the screen. Baltar’s face is weird - like rubber, like Phlox’s in that scene in the Enterprise pilot (which is about all I saw of that show). Only it’s not special effects. It’s just John Colicos’ enormous chipmunk cheeks.
I guess I need to watch part two. Someday.
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