Recently in School Category

... but they finally posted my degree. I had to call and beg, on behalf of my soon to consolidate student loans, that they would do it sooner than later. Hey, it's only a month and a half since graduation, what else could I expect? I guess bureaucracy just confuses me to tears. I really don't remember having this much of a problem with my first degree. So I should get an actual diploma and official transcript any day now.

For I am graduated! I would post a picture but Roommate took them with my cheap camera, and they all came out dark. And now commences the week of... sleeping in. falls dramatically into bed

The last remaining annoying beyond-my-control item on the list of MUST! BE! DONE! BEFORE! FRIDAY! was the change of an incomplete from last semester to CR, otherwise known as 'credit', otherwise known as 'now I can get my degree posted on time yay'. I just logged in at university website and it took for-frikkin-ever to finish authenticating my ridiculously-simple login. I'm picturing hundreds of other students fitfully refreshing their pages, staring at little RP symbols and swearing in the general direction of the campus, specifically the records office. Fortunately for my sanity and the Grades Lady's ears, when it finally loaded I had a nifty little CR where the RP used to be. WHEW. *breathes*

I had a to-do list, now I have a 'done' list. 1. dropped off resume at clinic that's less than a block from my apartment and just happens to be interviewing for a new intern 2. finished two apps for two other county mental health departments 3. called a number of folks who said they were coming to graduation and then called to make lunch reservations for the group 4. returned items to a store for a refund -- something I had been dreading due to 100F weather. And now, I have the rest of the afternoon to study for the final I haven't studied for. Wheeeeeee. ETA: I bet I aced it, and got extra credit. Big Dumb Easy Final. and: 5. toasted the end of graduate school with margarita in hand! YAY! Hopefully, LizBee was able to memorialize my soon-to-be walk across the stage into infamy, complete with flapping graduate style hood and kicky heels. Twould be priceless.

It's nearly finals week. It's my last semester. I blogged my way through four years of school and really not talked a wit about it, other than whining about the bureaucratic nonsense and occasional annoyance. And I find that if asked to put into words what was best, worst, etc., my memories lack specific detail. In other words, it's all a blur. Whoa. Too bad a lot of the stories are confidential material.

It's done. Those last couple of hours I needed are done, done, done. Now all that's left are two short papers and a final, and I'll have the papers finished tonight and emailed to their destinations. I have a bunch of forms for supervisor to finish. I have a stomach ache. I have a new online project, which I am still tinkering with and will link from here later in the week -- I'm trying to zap the muse a little. Heck, if it fails, it's just a deletion from forgotten. I made someone cry today. I have to tell my clients I'm leaving. This one isn't handling it well. I feel bad for the guy, but oy.

1. Fourteen hours of therapy left! (grrr, no show people!) 2. Tummy not good. I somehow upset it yesterday, tmi deleted last night, and been urpy and moany all day, not to mention headache-y, but Excedrin Migraine rulz. 3. Parentals not coming to graduation. But, Female Parental was true to her codependant nature and sent Large Monetary Sum. Debating whether to follow trend previously set and purchase yoga lessons/therapy sessions/massages for self. Or blow the whole wad on One Massive Party! Or airline tickets to Australia, New Zealand, Great Britain, or possibly (given current rates) somewhere closer to home, like Canada. 4. Field Placement ends on June 1, due to massive sweeping changes in the system with which I am unable to negotiate. I knew the changes were coming; we all thought it would be later in the year. But, no. So I will be shiftless and job-seeking, and probably doing temp work unrelated to my chosen field to pinch-hit with the bills until I locate Actual Real Career-Related Work, thus hoarding my savings account for a possible relocation to Somewhere That Is Not This Town. 5. It's ALMOST OVER! ZOMG! The shock, it comes in waves and squiggles and blinding flashes. How four years can feel like FOREVER. How quickly it can end.

Big Test done. Not sure how I did. Likely passed, possibly didn't, not caring overmuch one way or another due to excessive burn-outedness. Two measly assignments and a final left in my graduate school experience. And 17 hours of therapy, which will likely not take three weeks to complete. Booyah.

Well, more like in New Steps Toward Being a Real Live Career Person With Options. The search for a paying job/internship continues. Four emails this week with resumes, no responses! Everyone wants a volunteer. Other pursuits involve checking out student loan consolidation, gathering information on new cars, and racking up the no show appointments. I had one appointment today. No client. Other Clinic called to let me know my 9 am wanted to reschedule to later in the day or next week - since the parts for the car came in this afternoon, I said "next week" and will be watching them install a belt tomorrow morning. Toyota has a college grad special for financing a new/used vehicle, so I'm comparing them to my Other Ideal Car, the Mini Cooper. Websites for car manufacturers have "build your new car" features, so I've been playing with them. I'm tossed -- 10k more and get a cute little thing with an iPod connector, less and you get a Corolla with extras. Did you know the Cooper has 24 cu ft of cargo capacity and the Corolla only 14? What is up with that? My mechanic informs me that the Cooper isn't easy to repair, plus it's expensive, plus he can't get parts. So he of course told me to go with a Toyota. I'm thinking some test driving and haggling might be in my future. Grad invites mailed, waiting for the drama to start. Wheeeee.

I'm starting to worry about the whole hooding ceremony thing. Last weekend I printed up invitations/announcements, because you invite people to watch you shake hands and hug and get the Fake Diploma until the real one arrives. Otherwise what's the point of doing it? I haven't sent any yet. Oh, it's not postage, not lack of time - I could get 'em out tonight. It's the knowledge that the instant those folks I want to invite meet those folks I should invite, things will get hinky. I will be mixing an old boss, a current clinical supervisor, friends of various origin, Roommate, and my family. And of course I am quite specifically concerned about my mother. My brother and his wife walk in the daylight with the rest of the world and have decent manners, and they'll keep adopted nephew under control. My dad will be mostly silent and grinning ear to ear as he tries not to shake overmuch with the Parkinsons. But, you can't control Mom, and she'll blurt something out or cry or lecture me for eighty zillion hours after it's all said and done about the quality of my friends, the EVIL of sharing a kitchen and living room with a MAN who is not legally my spouse, and generally make me want to slap her. I haven't spoken to her in months (by her choice) and I'm sure it's all bottled up in there just waiting for a trigger. But. I cannot invite the mom I want her to be - the one who has a life other than nagging/herding/dominating her kids into molds she deems appropriate. I'm left with the one I have, who's done a decent job raising kids with limited resources, left too many problems to resolve themselves, and intentionally ignored some of the most damaging emotional issues -- but when it's all said and done she is still Mom. Good and bad. I've finally recognized something -- for her to change now would mean she could have changed years and years ago, and she didn't, and that would leave her with a lot of agita and a ton of self condemnation, and so her ego maintains itself much as it always has, and I'll have to live with it. So I'll send the invitation and she'll come or not depending on her level of anxiety, and I'll walk across a stage, say thanks to all and sundry, jump up and down a few times, cartwheel, moonwalk, and jig off down the steps with a masters. And if she warbles some passive aggressive thing in the general direction of myself or one of my profs, well, we're all mental health professionals -- I'm sure we'll be fine. We've all seen a lot of dysfunction before. Funny how impassive I can be in the presence of an angry schizophrenic, yet just thinking of my own mother in the same room with my crazy friend T gives me a sinking feeling in the pit of the stomach.